I don’t like where things are headed in the Chimera Ant Arc. Like, I got into Hunter x Hunter for the Killugon fluffiness. Because let’s face it, Killugon are probably the cutest best friends in anime.
I can’t remember exactly why, but the queen put me off the arc straight away. You know how there are those villains you love to hate? No redeeming characteristics for me. It’s not like how it was with Caesar Clown in One Piece. Him, I hated initially because his gas is always hissing around and maybe earphones were a bad choice but I wanted to watch One Piece okay. And then as the arc went on, I realized that I subconsciously hated him because his voice actor also did the voice of Baikinman, the villain of a Japanese children’s cartoon which may or may not still be airing (I genuinely don’t know). Basically, I was engineered from a young age to hate this voice.
But it wasn’t like that with the queen. I just hated her flat out. I also don’t like Knov (who definitely has the character design of someone who turns out to be a stalker/rapist). Morel, I could go either way. At least he’s cool. I really like Knuckle and Shoot, but I don’t particularly care what happens to them. Netero, I’m very interested in, but I’m pretty sure [spoilers]. And we haven’t seen much of him in like 15 episodes.
I just want to know how Killua and Gon survive okay, because I’ve seen a bunch of fanart about how this arc broke them, and Gon just told Killua, “It must be nice for you. You can remain calm because it doesn’t matter to you,” and that was the most hurtful thing I can imagine Gon saying to Killua. And you can’t tell if Gon actually thinks this about Killua, or if he’s just enraged to the point that he wants to hurt anyone who gets between him and Pitou. I think, more than anything else in the series, that line brought me closest to tears.
I take this bit so personally because I really identify with Killua. There was a scene a lot earlier in this arc where Gon is being Gon, and Killua thinks, “Sometimes you’re so bright I can’t look at you,” and that’s how I feel about my best friend. Obviously, I didn’t start torture training at age 2, or become a full-fledged assassin by age 12. But I carry trauma inside that nobody sees just like Killua. I’m the product of my parents (not in the negative way he is) and the society/culture I grew up in. Adjusting to America (the outside world, for Killua) has been hard for me. My best friend showed me a lot about the world, how bright life is and how great friends are, and if she told me she thought she didn’t matter to me, I’m not sure I could handle it.
I’m worried because other characters keep talking about Killua fading away, and he’s my favorite, and he’s the one I just want to wrap in a fuzzy blanket and cuddle, and I don’t want him to die! I don’t want him and Gon to be separated with Gon thinking that Killua is heartless. Because I never cry, and I don’t get excited, and my friends probably think I’m a sociopath. And I wouldn’t want to die without ever proving that I care.
Basically, I’m sick of all the battles having extended narration like, “He moved his left elbow, and therefore he’s going to launch this attack, so I need to” junk. I only care about Killua and Gon, and there’s like 20 episodes left of this story arc, and I just… I can’t.