I have discovered something. I am the kind of person who always has something to say. If I don’t have an opinion on the topic, I will definitely have a question. But I usually don’t say either out loud. I hardly ever know what I’m thinking until I say it. That’s why I prefer writing to speaking. That way I can reread to see if I really said what I meant.
What’s my discovery, you might ask? I am respectfully introverted. I’m more inclined to listening to what you’re saying and commentating silently. That’s why I sometimes drift off while you’re talking to me. I was researching ADHD for a character, and a lot of the inattentive ADD symptoms fit me. I’m kind of not surprised, but at the same time, if you research any kind of symptom on the Internet, Google is kind of just like, “Congratulations. You have swine AIDs.” My point is, I don’t normally voice my opinions. Whether that’s out of respect to you or out of laziness on my part, I come off as shy to strangers.
Today was the first time I have ever needed to say something so badly that I kept talking for more than five minutes even though my voice was shaking and I sounded like I was about to cry. They don’t teach you that stuff in freshman speech! They taught me “hey, here’s a pen, sell it.” They taught me to deliver a spoken essay. They taught me to read passages of literature. They didn’t teach me what to do when I feel so passionately about something that I cannot keep it to myself.
All in all, I think I did a pretty good job voicing my opinion. There was about ten people in the room. I think I might have scared the ones who didn’t know me very well. The ones that know me better were kind of just like, “Who are you and what did you do with Hana.” It was cool.