Tinted Lenses

Taking a week off to recover from June has been lovely. Only worked two days this week, so I got to properly relax and stuff. I had signed up for Camp Nanowrimo, but I’m probably not going to be participating. I’ve mainly been working on Maid Latte, which I don’t think I’ve mentioned on the official blog before. Each chapter focuses on a Japanese object or an aspect of Japanese culture. This started as self-therapy for me when I was feeling homesick for Japan, but it’s progressed into a(n intensely fanfictional) memoir of my adventures in Japan. Basically, it’s me fantasizing about living in Japan and dating Dan. (In case you’re new, or you found this post randomly, that would be the YouTuber danisnotonfire. He seemed like the perfect choice of narrator, as he has personally said, “Someday I want to go to all the places.”) Anyway, as this has become my main writing project right now, I’ve been thinking more about romance in my writing. (Because obviously why else fanfiction?) Also, I just finished The Clockwork Princess, so I’ve been thinking about love triangles specifically. The love triangle in The Infernal Devices is ridiculous. (In the good way. The feels!) Even though I love Will, I am 110% Team Jem. It took me a long time to read TID 3 (not as long as 2 did, but still), and when I finally got the end, I was kind of like, “Wait. No. What?” I’m not sure I like the way Clare ended it, even though it was very clever. I mean, I guess that was the only way it could have had a happy ending.

I know I talked about Jace when I read TMI 1-3, but I love Jem too. (And not just because he’s half Asian, cough cough.) Jem is so patient and kind and gentle. He’s musical and bilingual (although I guess Will is bilingual too). And of course he’s broken. Wouldn’t you know I would pick the broken one? (DEAN.) I guess in a way I was happy how it ended, because if it hadn’t gotten there the way it did, I would have been more upset. I just feel like it’s a bit of a copout.

I highlighted stuff, but I’m too lazy to type it up. I’m also super excited because I finally get to start reading Heavenly Fire. So that’s what I’ll be doing this week, in case it’s another week before I blog again, and you start thinking I died. I should probably prepare myself for lots of romance in that one too. I’ve heard good things about it though, so I’m really excited. I normally don’t like stuff that’s really romantic, but I love the romance in TMI. The fact that the main romance was supposedly incestuous for two and a half books should probably worry me more. I guess when stuff is in a book, you’re more sure that obstacles will be resolved. Ironically, even though my parents have been a great example, I have really weird views about romance and marriage. I’ve been to three weddings now; the two I attended as an adult were both gorgeous, but they both convinced me to elope if I get married at all.

See that’s the thing. I don’t really want to get married. I don’t understand the American bridezilla. It’s cute when people get engaged, and then I’m like, “Wow, that’s gonna be a lot of work. That’s gonna be super awkward.” I’ve always been kind of neutral toward marriage. Now I’m kind of like, “No. No weddings.” I’m going to pretend it was Alex’s fault. He tinted the lens through which I see the world. Why give your heart entirely to one thing? Why be one person when you can get an overhaul every few months? Why make promises no one can make you keep? I dunno. Maybe who I am now really is his fault (even if he had nothing to do with it). I was still forming my initial ideas about the world and myself when I met him. I think he fundamentally altered me in ways I haven’t discovered yet.

Man, I was feeling really parenthetical today. (Apparently.)

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